Insomnia and Lies
by Lucy Penweather
Summary: After Gerard kidnaps Stiles and Sheriff finally sees Stiles again, Sheriff sees the damage this old man has done to his son. Both physically and mentally.
1. Discovery

Chapter 1- Discovery

Dad had been on night shift again and I had spend another sleepless night since the whole Gerard situation a few days ago and Dad was still upset that I kept lying to him, unable to tell him about Scott's furry little problem. Speaking of Scott, he was too self-evolved with Allison to even know I had gone missing. My lack of sleep wasn't even the worst side affect of my torture session with the gramps, I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore without hearing him call me weak.

Walking downstairs to the kitchen to grab a midnight, no three o'clock in the morning snack, I heard the front door open. Peaking around the corner, I was Dad, the Sherriff, taking off his jacket before rubbing his face tiredly. Heading back up to my room as quietly as possible, I stumbled over a step causing me to swear. "Shit!"

"Stiles!" I clambered back downstairs giving Dad a nervous smile. "What are-what in the hell are you doing up at 3 o'clock in the morning?" John Stilinski asked worry shown clear on his face.

Leaning against the wall, I replied as smoothly as I could be, being me that wasn't smooth at all. "You know _stuff_, getting stuff done for school, you know that kind of stuff because that kind of stuff…" I continued to ramble until Dad stopped me.

"Stiles you can't lie to me anymore, you can't keep things from me. Now sit on this step and actually tell me what you are doing up at a time like this. Melissa saw you yesterday when you dropped off Scott at the hospital and she knows something is wrong. You were and still have dark rings around your eyes, and are fidgety than usual… and that's saying something."

I was about to shake my head in protest when he stopped me. "Are your night terrors coming back?"

I felt guilt gnaw at my insides as I nodded.


	2. Trouble and Truth

Chapter 2- Truth and Troubles

Dad looked distraught at the news, but there was no way in hell that I was telling him what about or why because that would lead me to slipping about the whole Gerard incident and not the lie I had cleverly come up with. Getting up from my spot on the stairs, I headed upstairs. "Stiles, we have to talk about this, you can't runaway from this." Sherriff stated as I ignored him completely.

Going into my room, I heard my phone go off, it was Scott. Picking up my phone, I realized that Dad was watching me from the door way. "Hey what's up buddy old pal?" I asked in a cheery voice hoping that this wasn't anything supernatural.

Glancing over at Pops, he gave me a stern look that said to get off the phone. "Stiles!" Scott yelled over the line.

"Yeah, What's up?"

"We are over at Derek's right now, we need you over here ASAP!" In the back ground I could hear Derek growling at Scott to hurry up and get me over here.

Dad was getting more upset as the minutes passed. "Um…I can't, Pops kind of is home and needs to talk to me because Melissa, that's right, your mom, kind of ratted me out to him. I'm not sleeping usually and he knows."

"What!?" Scott yelled on the other line causing me to jump in surprise. "Dude, how does she know and how didn't I? Anyway, you have to come over! THIS IS EMERGENCY PACK MEETING, normally you wouldn't have to come but Derek needs you over here."

Dad and Scott were both getting angrier as seconds passed. "Your mom's a nurse, she went to school to notice these things, I don't need and didn't want anyone to know. Everything's fine, everyone is just over reacting more that usual. No I can't come over even if I tried so tell him to pull whatever he has out of his ass and not to call people this late. Bye, Scott."

Before Scott could say another thing, I hung up on him. I was now intent to ignore both my father and the pack, that was just wonderful. Falling back onto my bed, I didn't wait for Dad to start talking, I just pulled my pillow over my ears to block him out but that didn't work because Dad started yelling. "Genium Arian Stilinski, I want to know what's going on with you right now. If I have to you will start talking to again."

Groaning at the fact that he would make me go see a therapist and he used the full name card, wasn't good at all. I was done for. "It's nothing, so I haven't been sleeping very well so what. Just go, I'm tired we can talk about this in the morning if we need to." I grumbled as Dad slammed my door behind him.

Tomorrow wasn't going to be good.


	3. Trouble Telling Half-Truth

Tomorrow wasn't going to be good and wasn't.

Today wasn't good at all, much to Dad's word, he tried to talk to me in the morning but much like the previous night, he got nothing out of me. Dad was upset with me, I was avoiding the pack and I had gotten detention from Harris for back talking him when I had fallen asleep in class. Heading into the Police Office , like he had told me to do, I smiled at Sally the secretary before heading into the Sheriff's office.

Walking into his office, I spotted Dad with Dr. Gerdy and Melissa sitting next to him. "Umm… I see you've got a meeting going on so I'm just skedaddle my way out of here, yeah I'm leaving." As I was heading out, the Sheriff stopped me.

"Stiles, sit. We are worried about you son, let us help you." Dad looked at me pleadingly and I knew I had to say something, make something up, do anything or he'd surely lose his mind with worry. I couldn't lose him after mom and after what I had done to her.

With a sigh, I sat down in the chair furthest from them. We sat their awkwardly for a few seconds before Melissa spoke up. "Stiles, honey, you look exhausted. How much sleep have you gotten?"

Looking down at my fidgeting fingers, I mumbled back my answer. "Roughly ten hours these past few days but I don't really know. Time just seems to melt together." I could feel all of them looking at me intensely and I knew I couldn't look them in the eyes. "Its just a little bit of insomnia, its not a big deal."

I felt Dad kneel down beside me and he lifted my chin, making me looking him in the eyes. "Stiles, it's not nothing. You're exhausted, Harris called me and said you had fallen asleep in his class. You've never fallen asleep in class, even his. Please, just answer me honestly, you didn't tell me the whole truth about what happened with the other players did you?'

I found myself unable to look him in the eyes, I just nodded. "Mum, they said things about her." I stated though it was a lie, that was the only believable thing I could think of. Yeah her death still bugged me and Dad knew it so hopefully he believed it. He starting swearing with anger and oddly enough it wasn't at me. He believed it. "Dad, lets just forget it okay, you promised we wouldn't bring it up again when I came home the other night and now you want to, I can't." I replied.

Scott's secret was going to be out if I didn't keep quiet, I couldn't say anymore and Gerard had said things about my mother so I wasn't lying but I couldn't do this all.

Suddenly flashbacks of Gerard torturing me and I felt my throat closing, the room becoming smaller. I was having a panic attack. I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. They told me to breathe with them but I couldn't. Pushing the person's hands away, I fell into a dark but welcoming abyss.


	4. Aftermath Of It All

The sound of beeping was prominent as I woke, the sounds of people were too. Pain throbbed in my temples causing me to moan in pain. The rushing of footsteps around me. "Stiles, can you open you're eyes for me?" It was Melissa.

I nodded wincing when I felt another jolt of pain. Slowly opening my eyes, I squinted due to the pain. Melissa stood next to me checking my vitals as Dad was probably still at work. "What time is it? I really would like to head home." I mumbled, still groggy and not completely aware of my surroundings.

She smiled at me motherly, which made me ache for my own. "It's seven, you've been out for about three hours. You look like you're in pain, I'll go get some meds for you to take." I nodded, becoming more alert to my surroundings.

I was in the hospital, probably due to the panic attack and Dr. Gerdy and Dad had both said if I had another one like this again, they'd have to medicate me. Great! Laying back, further into my pillows I waited for Melissa to come back with the pain meds. As she did, Dad walked in with her.

"Stiles, you scared me shitless son, don't do that to me again, I can't only have so many heart attacks from worrying about you." he chuckled, squeezing my hand to give me comfort of some kind. We talked some more, just until I felt the pain killers starting to do their magic, making me sleepy again. Trying to fight them, I eventually failed, I was too tired. The problems with insomnia.


	5. Partical Revelations

When I finally woke up again, I heard the familiar voices of Dad and Dr. Geardy talking, I was not in the mood for a check up right now. Opening my eyes and pulling myself up into an upright position, I realized how disorienting it was to have a lot of sleep after having so little. "Stiles," It was Dad, he smiled at me with pity, I hated that and Dr. Geardy was doing the same thing, effectively annoying me. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, knowing that it wouldn't matter either way, I had only slept due to the meds Melissa had given me and I was sure she had put some sleeping meds in my things as well. I'd be back to the panic attacks and insomnia soon enough but on a positive note, the aching pain in my chest from my panic attack had dulled down dramatically. "_Stiles_." Dad knew something and he wanted me to tell him.

I stayed silent, silent being a rare friend for me. " Okay so maybe I've had more than a couple since before yesterday…" Dad looked really pissed. "….ones you don't know about." I mumbled the last part, not wanting him to yell at me, that was the last thing I wanted.

Disappointment.

Pity.

Anger.

All of these showed in Dad's eyes as well in his actions but he knew wasn't going to help my cause. Dr. Geardy then spoke up. "Genium, we are going to perform some tests on your chest, we need to see what is causing your insomnia so we will be talking and what damage those panic attacks are doing to your chest." I groaned and let my head fall back into my pillow.

Tests were terrible especially in circumstances like these. I know I should have been medicated a long time ago, being after Mom's death, but the idea of being medicated on top of my ADHD freaked me out. I rarely took my ADHD meds the way it was, usually when Dad was around to remind me did I take them. "Fine, torture me already!" my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Suddenly Scott appeared in the doorway, with a surprisingly non-grumpy Derek behind him. Scott walked in, with a goofy smile on his face. "Stiles, how you feeling man?" Scott asked sitting down beside me on the bed despite the looks everyone but me were giving him.

"Fine, Scotty. You know me, people worry when its nothing. Just a little deprivation and a panic attack. So what's up?" I asked hoping he'd let me off of the hook but unfortunately not.

"Stiles don't, you can explain to all of us why you didn't tell me about not sleeping, you were being stupid." Scott was being serious, Scotty. The kid I had known since second grade was actually being serious. The world was coming to an end. Scott was about to continue when Dad stopped him.

"Scott we know you're worried, we all are. He's getting tests done in a few minutes so we can treat these problems so just relax son." I gulped when Dad gave me a look that total me to shut up and go with it because it was happening no matter what.


	6. Aftermath and more

The tests were tiresome, long and by the time I was finished with the tests, I was rolled back to my room. I was exhausted beyond the point of being able to sleep and everyone took advantage of that. Dad sat next to me as we watched the 49er's game, normally I'd be cheering along side him but my heart wasn't into it today. Scott just sat on the other side of me cheering along with Dad but no matter how many times one of them nudged me or started yelling at the television, I didn't want to be here.

If I hadn't been stupid enough to be caught by Dad the night before than I wouldn't have been in this situation. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse, Dr. Geardy knocks on the door before coming in causing Scott to shut off the television and says goodbye telling me to call him later with the news.

I nodded nervously allowing Scott to leave and for the Geardy, Dad or just people in general to annoy the hell out of me. Geardy was the first to talk. "Well we got the results in from the tests and good news, you don't have anything serious right now but the results do show that we need to start you on medication for your panic attacks, communication is greatly needed right now and you need to sleep more or this can turn into something serious."

Dad looked seriously at both me and the doctor before he spoke up. "Do you recommend anyone particularly for Stiles to talk to professionally, because I know he won't talk to me."

I glared at both of them, they both couldn't talk like I wasn't there. I was angry, upset and I didn't want anyone to know about my problems. "Why do think I'd talk to them even more than I would you?" I snapped before I thought.

Dad sighed, and looked at me with a concerned look. "You have to talk to someone, because you're hurting."

Rolling my eyes I turned my attention to Geardy. "Am I allowed to leave tonight?" I asked as politely as I could under the circumstances.

Geardy nodded. "Genium, you will be allowed to leave but I have given your father specific instructions and if he has to much trouble with trying to get you to follow them then I will be making your stay here longer. We aren't going to try sleeping pills yet but they are definitely an option." Groaning in protest he continued. "You'll be in bed by nine at the latest, no sports for a while and taking all your medication." Slamming my head back into my pillow, I waited, listened until Geardy left and I was allowed to leave the hospital.

Heading home wasn't fun, it was awkward as hell. Dad stayed silent and for once I did too or until I started fiddling with the radio. "Stiles, you can't lie and keep things from me, your panic attack scared me shitless. The last your panic attack was this bad was right after your mother's death." I stayed silent, hoping he would shut up but he didn't. "I want to know who got you into such a state but you insist I forget about it. I can't promise that anymore, they caused you to become bad again."

I just shook my head and waited til we were home before running up to my room to see Derek and Scott both in my room. I was in deep shit.


	7. Troubles

"Stiles, no running or you'll be staying downstairs until your next doctors appointment." Dad threatened as I entered my room. Rolling my eyes, I plopped down on my bed waiting for the inevitable.

Scott and Derek just watched me for a few seconds analyzing and accessing my current state of health. Derek seemed his usual self, not cheery in the least but worry seemed to roll off of him in waves. Scott on the other hand didn't seem to pull off the broody act all too well, he was pissed and a pissed Scott wasn't a good Scott. As I closed my eyes, to finally sink in that I was home, Scott chose to talk.

"You are an idiotic asshole! You should have told us you were having problems after Gerard attacked you! When I found out that you were in the hospital, I freaked out!" Scott was getting more and more upset as the seconds past.

"Scott, if you're going to yell at me than you can get the hell out of this house. I've been loyal to you since we were in second grade but you didn't even realize I was kidnapped until Derek here told you a few days ago!" I whispered back.

My anger started to boil to the edge when Scott just stood their looking idiotic and smug. I went to lunge at Scott, I felt Derek grip onto my shoulders. "Stiles, calm down." He growled into my ear. Trying to pull away from Derek, I yelled. "You asshole!" as I failed yet again to get free so I could attack Scott.

Scott just look hurt, shocked and yet still pissed. I didn't realize that my scream had alarmed Dad until I heard him running up the stairs and I stood their yelling at Scott as Derek had fled the room. "You've done nothing but care about yourself or Allison, I don't know you anymore." I screamed the last part as Dad entered the room, gesturing for Scott to leave as he pulled me to his chest.

I tried to get out of it but once again I was the weak human and I was fed up with it. "Stiles, you're hurting but don't push everyone away." Dad pled as I sunk to the ground.

I was done with Scott.

I was done with Derek.

I was done with the Pack.

Before I knew it I felt that my face was wet, I had been crying. Dad sat down next to me, just trying to get me to talk and I did but it wasn't something he would want me to say. "I'm done Dad, I can't do this much longer. Nothing matters anymore."

I was giving up hope and I knew it but what else could I do. The Sheriff then gave me the sternest look he could possibly muster and stated. "You can't be done Stiles because I won't let you be. I love you."

Closing my eyes I felt the last of my tears fall down my face causing me to wipe them away as fast as humanly possible before laying my head on Dad's shoulder. Mom was dead and it was all my fault. Scott's mad at me and its all my fault. Dad is worrying himself sick and its all my fault. After about a half an hour of silence, Dad spoke up again. "It's almost nine, you'll be sleeping in my room. Geardy wants you to first try sleeping in a different room or bed. I'll go get your medication, just head to my room.

I did as he said but as I waited for him to return with my medicine, I still couldn't get the guilty feelings out of my system. Running my hands through my hair, I heard Dad enter my room. "Stiles, all we're asking is to try to get some more sleep, if you can't then get me, I'll be up late working on a case the way it is." I just shrugged before taking my drugs. "Stiles I'm serious, get me. You need to get some sleep."

I nodded and settled into the blankets as Dad left. I drifted into sleep only to wake up a few hours screaming from a nightmare. The Sheriff came into the bedroom and pulled me to his chest. He was trying to comfort me but I didn't want it. Pushing away from him, I leaned forward hoping that he'd get the clue. I didn't want to talk. "Talk to me." he whispered.

I just shook my head and allowed tears to run freely.


	8. Nightmares are HELL!

I didn't go back to sleep that night and got up early, Dad had tried to stay up with me and get me to talk but he fell asleep a little after 3 in the morning. I made Dad's breakfast favorites in order for him not to bring up the nightmare last night, if Dad hadn't been monitoring me so closely last night he wouldn't have found out about the nightmare. Sure I was tired and that really didn't matter to me as much as it did because it effected Dad now too.

Speaking of Dad, he entered the kitchen looking terrible. Their were bags under his eyes that could be seen from up to a mile away, his hair was disheveled and so was the air around him. The thing that alarmed me the most was that he didn't have his uniform on. "Um…Dad, you know you have to wear a uniform to work right?"

He cleared his throat. "I'm taking a personal day and I already called into school for you, you aren't allowed to go to school today, Doc's orders." Glaring at Dad is distaste, I took the bacon that was on his plate away. "Hey kid, I know you're mad at me but you can't take away a man's bacon."

"I can and I will." I grumbled before taking a bite. "Fine if I'm not going to school than I'm going for a run because these walls are closing in."

"No, Doc doesn't want you exerting yourself too much, stress causes some of your problems and we are following Doc's order to the T so take your medicine." Growling in irritation at Dad I downed both pills before getting up and leaving the room.

Video games it was.

I played for about a half an hour before Dad came in, sitting down beside me on the couch. Sighing as I got shot down for what seemed to be the hundredth time in a row, I threw my controller down and leaned heavily against the back of the couch. "Stiles, talk to me, you're too quiet, it's unnerving."

Rolling my eyes, I got up and headed to my room without a word, he pissed me off. I didn't want to talk to him about what happened or about the same nightmare I had been having since the 'accident'. Deciding to read, I started reading Wuthering Heights in order to get my Literature homework that I knew was due in a few days. As Cathy and Heath-cliff started to cause trouble between them as always, I began to nod off.

_ Gerard came closer._

_ Closer._

_ Closer._

_ We were face and face before he threw a punch at my gut before laughing. Mom was there laughing with him, she enjoyed the pain I was in. Suddenly I was out of the chains and Dad was in the chains instead, getting the crap beat out of him. Punch after punch I tried to protect Dad. I cried, trying to pull through the hunters as Gerard sent a knife through my father's stomach. Blood spilled everywhere and as the seconds past, it all became clear._

_ Dad was dead._

_ Dead._

_ Dead._

_ Screaming in anguish, I threw punches at everyone and everything in my way. They had killed my only family and they weren't about to get away with it. _"Stiles!" _Someone was calling for me but I had to ignore them, they would hurt me. _"Stiles, wake up!" _I felt shaking, someone was shaking me._ My eyes flew open and I realized that it had been Dad.

I just let the tears fall as Dad held me. I tried to escape his grasp but wouldn't let me. "Stiles, calm down. You're shaking like a leaf. I need you to calm down as we wait for Melissa."

I just shook my head, I didn't want to meet some and I didn't want Melissa to see me in this state. "No." I rasped, my voice almost completely raw from screaming. "I can't have them see me like this."

Dad didn't respond as I pulled out of his grasp and ran into the bathroom before slamming the door shut. Splashing water onto my face, I had gotten myself to stop shaking so violently and took some pain meds for my chest that was now throbbing severely. I saw from the corner of my eye Dad watching me with concern, I was still slightly shaking. "Nerves… it'll stop in a few minutes." I mumbled. "No, I can't talk about it." He just came up to me and hugged me before leading me to the living room.

Melissa came soon after and checked over my vitals, asked me question about pain and just sat with us, trying to get me to relax so I would tell them the nightmare. They pushed and pushed and I just couldn't, I wouldn't. It was too vivid and still reeling in the back of my mind. Closing my eyes as I tried not to cry for the hundredth time, I was helpless.

Lonely.

Desperate.

I wanted escaped and I didn't no how. So did what wasn't so known, I became silent.


	9. A Series of Unfortunate Turn of Events

I was mad at everyone, everything, including myself. I stayed silent when Dad asked me to get into the cruiser, I stayed silent the entirety of the trip but I wasn't silent when I realized he was taking me to a therapist as he pulled into the building 'Dr. Ramer , Physiologist and Sociologist.' I read on the build's sign. "No." I said one word and Dad turned his attention to me as the car was parked.

"Stiles, this.." He tried to cut in but I stopped him before he could finish.

Looking him straight in the eyes I responded. "No, I can't and won't do this. What happened with the lacrosse guys, it doesn't matter anymore. It happened, it's done and I don't care!" I spat before leaning back into my seat and closing my eyes in frustration.

I heard the car unlock and Dad taking off his seatbelt, he wasn't taking no for an answer. I felt his hand grasp my chin before speaking in a soft tone, getting me to open my eyes. I tried to look away from him but I couldn't, his grip was too strong. "It does matter, Genim. They hurt you and now you're mentally hurt. I hate seeing you like this, I WON'T see you like this. You aren't yourself and I'm going to work my damn' hardest to get you acting like yourself again. Just go in there and talk to her for a couple sessions, you don't even have to talk about what happened right now."

I nodded sadly knowing that no matter what I would have tried to get out of this, it wasn't going to work. I trailed behind father slowly as I could, loathing the very building we walked into.

The waiting room was obsolete with blue walls and chairs, giving the room a relaxed feel to it. It wasn't working on me. The minute I sat down in one of the chairs, I started tapping my foot at an extremely fast rate, only to be stopped by Dad holding my knee in place. "Stiles, relax."

Leaning the back of my head against the wall, I closed my eyes trying to relax. Happy place, trying to think of my happy place, I heard the door to the rest of the clinic open and I immediately tensed up. Opening my eyes I saw Dr. Ramer looking at a clipboard, smiling before calling out a name. "Stiles?"

I couldn't find the words to say. I didn't want to be here, but Dad talked for me. "Over here." Glaring at Dad, he just smiled softly before replying. "Stiles, I know you don't want to do this but try to at least tolerate it."

Rolling my eyes, I followed both of them into a room. The said room was just as blue as the waiting room, sitting down in a chair next to Dad, I waited for Ramer to talk. "Sherriff, would you first explain to us why you believe Stiles here needs to come here on occasion?"

She watched us both with calculating eyes as Dad answered. "Nightmares, insomnia, and change in attitude, it's hard to watch him change this much. It isn't a welcomed change either." He then turned to me. "What you said in the cruiser about it not mattering that you got beat to a bloody pulp just a week ago, it scares me and the panic attacks too."

The pain in Dad's eyes were evident, but I couldn't listen any longer. "This is bullshit, I don't need or want help. Everything will pass in time." I sighed completely uncomfortable talking about this subject I ran my fingers through my hair.

The doctor than turned her attention to me. "Stiles, we just need to get this out in the open so I know exactly what's going on. If you aren't comfortable talking about this than you can go into the room next to us and wait for me." How did either of them know I wouldn't just leave. She must have been reading my mind. "If you try to run, we will know."

Getting up, I walked over the other room, slamming doors on the way. I was mad, that they just sat in there talking about me when I didn't need to be here and we all damn' well knew it. Curling up in a ball on the couch, I took out my phone and started playing Candy Crush in hope that Ramer would forget about my existence.

That hope was in vain. A few minutes later Ramer came in alone with a smile on her face. "Stiles, how are you?" She asked as I shoved my phone into my pocket.

"Fine." I stated in a clipped off, detached tone.


	10. Part 2

Dr. Ramer looked at me, analyzed me before talking once again. " We are going to three big rules in here alright and the main rule is that 'fine' isn't an answer and won't be used. If you don't wish to talk about your feelings than say that you want to change the topic unless it is crucial we talk about it at that moment. The second rule would be, violent isn't an answer. Lastly, you call me Diane. Understand?"

I just shrugged before turning my attention to my shoes. "Yeah, I guess." I didn't want to be here talking to some stranger, I wanted to be hanging out with Sco- no we are fighting, I almost forgot.

"Genim do you want to talk about it?" She asked. Damn' her for being so damn' aware of everything. Some anger quickly ignited within me.

"No and it's Stiles, no one's allowed to call me that." I snapped, only Mom and Dad were allowed to call me that, Mom when she was alive and Dad because he just did it when he was worried or mad.

The therapist looked at me with worried causing me to become slightly annoyed. "_Stiles,_ do you want to talk about what bothered you just a minute ago ?" She asked again, more carefully this time.

She wasn't going to give up so I decided to talk, I mean Dad was paying her enough. "Not really, just got into a fight with my best friend. It's stupid, we'll get over it soon enough."

She smiled at me again. "Tell me about him."

"Who?" I asked puzzled, she surely wouldn't care about Scott.

"Your best friend." She smiled, she was getting information out of me.

Looking back down at my shoes, I mumbled back at her. "His name's Scott, we met in the sandbox in kindergarten. He stupid, oblivious but can be so selfish because of Allison but we're brothers in everything but blood."

The therapist looked at me before tossing me something. Catching it I looked in my hands, it was a leather bound journal. Looking at it in my hands, it looked out of place. I didn't write. "Your assignment for Thursday is to write one entry in this journal and we'll talk about it next session. I don't care what you write about as long as it pertains to you. It can bother you, make you laugh, it can be about anything that pertains to _you_. Now we're done with our first session, have fun." She stated smiling.

Grumbling to myself, I got up and left the room to find Dad in the waiting room with a hopeful smile on his face. Walking past him, I headed to the cruiser. I hated being analyzed, I usually did the analyzing. Getting into the car, I turned on the radio in order to avoid Dad, knowing he'd want to talk about how it went. We drove a ways, enjoying a song or two until Dad just shut off the radio.

"Stiles, she wasn't that bad was she?" He asked, in more of a sarcastic tone but I heard the underlying worry underneath it. I just shrugged before turning my attention back to my phone. "Stiles use words."

"I guess she was alright but she kept poking and prodding, it annoyed me." I answered hoping that would satisfy him for the time being but it didn't.

Dad looked at the journal resting in my hands before he began to talk once again. "Stiles I worry about you so much and just please try this for at least one more session then I'll let you be if she's done nothing for you, okay?"

I nodded.

The rest of the ride home was silent and boring as was everything until the night after my first therapy session. Sitting down with Dad at the table, we sat with hamburgers and curly fries. I just picked at my food, like I had done for the past few days but Dad was getting aggravated by something and I was going to find out. As I went to grab a can of Coke, I saw a small unfamiliar binder with paper sticking out of it with numbers and such on it.

Pulling out the said piece of paper, I noticed some things written down about me.

Not eating like before

Prefers being alone

Doesn't talk half as much as he used to

Nightmares every time sleeps

Talks about Claudia in his sleep before yelling/waking up

Angrily, I walked back to the table and threw the paper at Dad. " I can't believe you! You're analyzing me like Ramer was and you know I hated that. I'm not going back tomorrow, I won't have the both of you against me and I'm going back to school. I don't care what the doctor says, I'm not being controlled any longer!"

Then I did what no one expected, I started to cry before sliding down the wall. I was giving up on all of it. I hated the fact that I had no control any more. I hated the fact that I didn't sleep, couldn't sleep without having a nightmare. I was useless.

As Dad came closer to me, I pushed him away not wanting to be touched or even talked to. "Stiles, calm down. You have to calm down before you get another panic attack. Breathe." I managed to calm my breathing even though I continued to cry.

I didn't let Dad try to talk to me anymore, I ran up to my room at top speed, locking my bedroom door behind me.


	11. A Little Bit of Honesty

"Stiles, open the door." Dad replied softly on the other side of the door but I remained silent. "I know you're in there and I realize that you're pissed at me but you can't lock me out."  
>I knew I was being absolutely childish but I didn't care. "I just did.. Just go leave me alone. Scott and everyone else are going against me, I shouldn't be too surprised that my father is doing the same!"<br>John cussed outside the door a little longer before he headed downstairs and I curled myself up in bed. Closing my eyes I dozed off quickly, happy that I had found some way to get the rest that I definitely needed. I had hoped to get at least a couple more hours of some much needed sleep but hours later I had been woken up.  
>My breath was extremely labored and I could here Dad on the other side of the door talking to somebody over the phone. "He's in there and he's having a nightmare. Yes, the door's locked. Stiles was pissed at me. Would you please come over? Maybe…"<br>He didn't need to call anybody I thought to myself as I got up from bed and unlocked the door to my small bedroom. Peeking out, I watched silently as Dad paced the narrow hallway with his favorite plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt. His hair stuck up in every other direction. Walking out of my small room, I trekked downstairs to the kitchen ignoring Dad's footsteps following my every move. I pulled out a box of Captain Crunch and a jug of milk. As I started to eat my improv meal, Dad cleared his throat.  
>"Stiles," The sheriff let out a huge sign before continuing. "are you okay? I woke up to yelling in your sleep. I tried to get in to help you but you kept me locked out."<br>I mumbled 'yes' quietly, now pushing away the other half of the cereal that I hadn't eaten. Getting up, I was leaving the room when my dad gripped my bicep. "Don't do this Stiles. What happened to the person that never ran away from a situation or challenge no matter how difficult?" I didn't reply and he continued. "I see you running away from every problem that comes your way. What happened? It can't just be what happened with the lacrosse team. You're keeping a lot from me lately and I'm sick of it. You're giving up on everything."  
>"No, it's not just that but right now I don't want to talk about let alone think about it. Please, I'm sorry that I'm letting you down but I-I just can't."<br>Dad then just let me go, and as our eyes met, we both had an understanding. When I was ready to accept things, I had to talk to him about this stuff. Stumbling up the stairs, I walked into my room to find a dark silhouette of guy by my window. Slowly grabbing my bat that laid haphazardly against my desk, I slowly approached the man. "Stiles put down the bat."  
>It was Derek, now what could he possibly want? I thought to myself.<p> 


End file.
